The Conservative Perspective – Political Pornography

As I troll, surf and stalk what is happening in the news I often stumble upon such absurdity by so-called Conservatives that I do a check to ensure I have taken the correct medication for the day. In a clear-headed world such lewdness of logic could not be taking place. More often than not I ignore such offense to reason. When I have noted these mental burlesques they have been featured in a segment designated Derriere Orifice of the Week. This was indeed a special week!

* Senator John Ensign (R-NV) and Governor Mark Sanford (R-SC), advocates of family values, opponents of gay rights and pontificators of how others should conduct their lives, were exposed for extra-marital affairs. Perhaps these disgraced icons of the holier-than-thou movement should pay more attention to what their own sexual organs are doing. Republican sexual indiscretions have become so prevalent that TalkingPointsMemo.com has developed a Sex Scandal Flow Chart, where all roads must lead to hell. Truth be told, I would not care less what happens in the private lives of politicians if not for those instances where their hypocrisy is palpable. The sanctity of marriage begins with one’s own zipper remaining in the up position. And what does it say about Senate Republican leadership that during their regular Tuesday luncheon meeting, following Ensign’s mea culpa apology to them, they showered him with applause. Good job John, another notch on the chastity belt!

* Noted natural healer and airwaves polluter Rush Limbaugh offered an alibi for Sanford’s love tryst in Argentina. Limbaugh said, “Sanford flew out of the country to have an affair because ‘President Obama drove him over the edge’.” The background of “over the edge” involved Sanford opposing the acceptance of desperately needed money provided in the Stimulus Plan for South Carolina. Sanford lost this fierce battle with his state legislature as he desperately attempted to establish his conservative credentials for a presidential run in 2012. The Limbaugh Prescription: committing adultery is the homeopathic approach to dealing with stress. Whatever bothers you, just get laid and blame it on the President.

* Right-wing anti-tax activist Grover Norquist offered an interesting perspective on recent Republican adultery. Norquist said, “It does indicate that men who oppose federal spending at the local level are irresistible to women.” Oh to have had this knowledge when I was single. Who would have thought that approaching a woman in a cocktail lounge as a tight-assed, anal-retentive bible thumper with a Shirley Temple in hand would have her disrobing and fogging up my eyeglasses?

* One of Maryland’s most prominent Republican organizations, Republican Women of Anne Arundel County, issued a letter by the organization’s President, Joyce Thomann. Her letter began “Dear Friends” and went on to say, “Obama and Hitler have a great deal in common in my view. Obama and Hitler use the “blitzkrieg” method to overwhelm their enemies. FAST, CARPET BOMBING intent on destruction. Hitler’s blitzkrieg bombing destroyed many European cities – quickly and effectively. Obama is systematically destroying the American economy and with it AMERICA.” I do have issues with Ms. Thomann’s grammar but, more importantly, this is a good example of what happens when rain closes the country club golf course. Idle hands are the devil’s tools.

* Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) is the poster child for Attention Deficit Disorder and the mindless meanderings of a mercury-tainted cerebral hemisphere. Her malapropisms and malcogitation (sic) are legendary and the congresswoman from Minnesota is a frequent flyer on the Derriere Orifice express. She has announced that she will break the law by not filling out her 2010 Census questionnaire. Her explanation included that the Census led to the internment of Japanese Americans in the 1940’s. This link attempts to analyze Bachmann’s irrationality and historical to hysterical errors. I suggest two aspirin one hour before reading. One wonders if the citizens of her district should be interned for electing her to congress. If one guessed that her public display of idiocy took place on FOX News you are exempt from completing your census form. And what does it say about your assertions when right-wing nut Glenn Beck thinks you have lost your census?

* Eight Supreme Court justices ruled that a school’s strip search of an Arizona 13 year old girl accused of having prescription-strength ibuprofen was illegal.” The eight justices range in philosophy from liberal to moderate to conservative. But there are nine SC justices and the ultra conservative and reactionary Justice Clarence Thomas offered a dissenting opinion. Thomas said, “the court was making a “deep intrusion” into the administration of public schools and their efforts to fight the scourge of drug abuse.” Yes, the eternal challenge for a democracy is finding that elusive balance between the common good and individual freedoms. Someone should explain to Justice Thomas that “No Child Left Behind” had nothing to do with students baring their behind by lowering their Calvin Klein underwear.

* Just when you thought that Joe “The Plumber” Wurzelbacher’s career as spokesperson for the conservative mind was over he floats to the top of the septic tank. At a speaking engagement to Americans for Prosperity in Wisconsin “The Plunger” said more than once, referring to Sen. Chris Dodd (D-CT), "Why hasn't he been strung up?" Ah, the voice of Conservatism – cogent, articulate and erudite while conveying the ideals and principles of American freedom and democracy. I expect that Joe’s next appearance will be in Anne Arundel, Maryland at the annual Spaetzle Cook Off.

* Let my people go – Republican Representatives John Culberson (TX), Peter Hoekstra (MI), and David Dreier (CA) all compared their minority status in congress to the plight of the Iranian protestors. With the exception of living in a democracy and not being shot at or bludgeoned for their views their analogy is spot on. I suggest that they will feel better if they take the advice of the leader of their Party, Rush Limbaugh, and just get laid.

* Recall Republicans going ballistic when President Obama said that one of the characteristics his Supreme Court nominee should possess is empathy. Some would say that Republican opposition stemmed from the fact that they do not understand the meaning of the word. Well, there is some evidence that at least one Republican can express empathy. Meet Missouri state representative Cynthia Davis. As chairwoman of the Missouri House Special Standing Committee on Children and Families she was critical of a government program that provides food during the summer for thousands of low-income Missouri children who rely on the school cafeteria for free or reduced-price meals during the regular school year. “A report by Feeding America found that one in five Missouri children currently lives with hunger.” Here is where the empathy thing comes in. Ms. Davis extolled the virtues of hunger because “hunger can be a positive motivator.” Rumor has it that Ms. Davis has been selected Woman of the Year by the Republican Women of Anne Arundel County.

* Connecticut Governor M. Jodi Rell (R) signed the US Senate vacancy bill which takes away the governor’s power to appoint someone to a vacant US Senate seat. Rell said, “this bill gives directly to the people of Connecticut the decision on who would fill a vacancy in the U.S. Senate… Since taking office as Governor, I have done everything in my power to make Connecticut a model for all states when it comes to openness, transparency and citizen participation in government." “Republican lawmakers had called the bill a "power grab" during lengthy debates in both the House and the Senate.” Lacking empathy and the concept of democracy, Republicans conclude that giving the citizens the right to elect their officials “is a power grab.”


Who then is sane? He who is not a fool.
Quintus Horatius Flaccus, aka, Horace (65 BC to 8 BC) Roman lyric poet

If I were Santa Claus I would have delivered the following stocking stuffers:

* A brain for Sen. John Ensign (R-NV), chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee. While appearing on Face the Nation he said of the economic meltdown: "Unfortunately, it was allowed to be portrayed that this was a result of deregulation, when in fact it was a result of overregulation."

* A jar of jalapeño Vaseline for the SEC employees who watched porn rather than "protecting investors and maintaining fair, orderly, and efficient markets," as is their mission.

* A rasher of humility for Stephen Views the News to embrace reader comments such as, “You sir are masterfully demonstrating your own ignorance.”

* An imported deluxe kerosene heater for Wal-Mart’s heart. On Tuesday the company said it would pay between $352 million and $640 million to settle lawsuits across the country claiming that it forced employees to work off the clock.

* The 2009 Sarah Palin Calendar for John McCain, even though he is setting land speed records running from his former running mate.

* A shiny house-arrest ankle bracelet for Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich for auctioning the senate seat vacated by Barack Obama.

* A bar of mouth soap and truck driver’s license for Mrs. Blagojevich for her picante comments recorded during a federal wiretap investigation of her husband the governor.

* A yuletide apology to truck drivers for associating them with the First Lady of Illinois.

* A basket of experience for Caroline Kennedy seeking to inherit Hillary Clinton’s senate seat in New York.

* A ride on Santa’s sleigh for the auto executives embarrassed into abandoning their private jets.

* A sleigh full of Pepcid for president-elect Barack Obama as he embarks on the journey of leading a country beset with a multitude of serious challenges.

* A duly elected Senator for the citizens of Minnesota and preferably not the candidate under federal investigation.

* A time-out for the Obama administration before deciding to commit tens of thousands of U.S. troops to Afghanistan. The complexity of that country’s politics and the corruption of its leadership demand extreme caution.

* Harvey the imaginary rabbit for Malia and Sasha Obama as they seek solitude from the harsh world of celebrity they will encounter over at least the next four years.

* Fifty billion days of homelessness on the streets of New York City for Bernard “Bernie” Madoff. He is one of the all-time goniffs (crooks) of the investment world. His soulless greed wreaked economic havoc and, in some cases destruction, on schools, charities, pension funds and so much more.

* A punch bowl of common sense for Madoff’s Ponzied investors who believed that Madoff was Santa Claus.

* A wake up call for the inhabitants of planet Earth to not be misled by low gasoline prices. Santa cannot reverse limited oil reserves or a debilitated environment that is ignored.

* A revised mission statement for the IRS whose audits of large companies declined for the third year in a row. Santa’s trust of business and government also declined for the third year in a row.

* A slightly used and toxic post-Katrina mobile home to transport departing Homeland Security chief Michael Chertoff to a lucrative book signing deal. In America incompetence has its rewards.

* A mega-warehouse for the U.S. Department of the Navy to store $7.5 billion in UNNEEDED parts. One of the factors contributing to the unnecessary purchases was “inefficiency in the Navy's inventory management.” No surprise to Santa who understands “overstocked” with a North Pole laden with unsafe toys outsourced from Asia.

* Light-blocking window drapes for American banks accepting billions of dollars of bailout money sans accountability. Santa does not blame the banks – at least on this account. He does have queries for the little elves on Ritalin running the Bush administration and running around the halls of Congress.

* A cruise on the Titanic for the American Enterprise Institute (AEI). This conservative “think” tank spawned much of the neocon nonsense and “free” market malarkey that dominated Bush administration strategy.

* A set of barbells to put more muscle into credit card reform regulations scheduled to go into effect in 2010.

* A chapel for the gay citizens that Pastor Rick Warren suddenly “loves” but is not likely to welcome to his church.

* Public financing of elections legislation to improve an electoral process that has become the antithesis of democratic principles.

* A frontal lobotomy for Rush Limbaugh for positing his conspiracy theory that the economic crisis was created by Democrats to generate a financial panic and ensure the election of Obama.

* Thorazine prescriptions for Bill O’Reilly and Karl Rove. They have suggested the conspiracy theory that journalists deliberately manufactured the financial crisis so that Obama would be elected.

* A lump of coal for the energy interests spending millions of dollars to convince the American public that there is such a thing as “clean coal.” Perhaps they can donate some of this money to residents in Tennessee to recover from the flood of sludge that broke through a dike at TVA's Kingston coal-fired plant Monday. This could prove to be an environmental disaster of very significant proportions. Al Gore’s Alliance for Climate Protection and the “Reality” coalition have a new ad about the myth of “clean coal.”

* For those that can, websites to help those in need:
~ Feeding America is a network of over 200 food banks covering all 50 states.
~ Operation USO Care Package provides care packages of needed and requested items for our troops overseas
These websites are noted in Michelle Obama’s Holiday Greetings.

* Peace, goodwill and wisdom for a world on multiple brinks.

* 2009 hugs and best wishes for the New Year to readers of Stephen Views the News.

* “I don't make jokes... I just watch the government and report the facts.”
Will Rogers (1879 – 1935) Cherokee-American cowboy, comedian, humorist, social commentator, vaudeville performer and actor.

11/17/07

*You can’t make this stuff up – An Inspector General (IG) is supposed to be an independent overseer of the activities of a government agency whose responsibility is to prevent fraud, waste, abuse and mismanagement. Meet Howard Krongard, IG of the State Department, whose foremost mission appears to have been aiding the Bush administration by covering up rather than investigating. The accusations against Krongard include: blocking an investigation of Blackwater, accused of smuggling arms into Iraq that wound up on the black market; stalled investigations of waste in the building of the U.S. embassy in Iraq (that is now $144 million over budget); refused to send investigators to Iraq and Afghanistan to pursue wasteful spending and procurement fraud; and he threatened the careers of his own employees if they spoke to congressional investigators. Oh, did I mention that his brother is on the board of Blackwater?

*Broken Contract: The Limits of an All-Volunteer Army – This is the title of an excellent article by Lawrence J. Korb that addresses a subject that has received insufficient attention – the affect of the Iraq war on our Army. “One of the lessons of Iraq is that our nation's All-Volunteer Army (AVA) has suffered significant long-term damage waging a long war it was not designed to fight.” Note: not designed to fight. Korb feels that long-term commitment of ground forces should have been accompanied with a draft. I would speculate that the draft was not instituted because Bush and Cheney knew that Americans would have strongly resisted such a move by employing Viet Nam-like protests. The alternative was to misuse our military, and Korb states, “To meet its needs the active duty Army has had to lower its educational and aptitude standards to unprecedented levels; raised the age for enlistment to 42; shortened enlistments to as little as 15 months; and given bonuses of up to $70,000 for new recruits and up to $150,000 to keep soldiers in. Even with these steps, the Army has had to grant moral waivers (including for felony convictions) to more than 10 percent of its new recruits. West Point graduates are leaving the service in numbers not seen in 30 years, leaving the Army short thousands of Captains.” In his feeble and misguided attempt to protect America Bush has actually weakened the country’s ability to protect its citizens. AND, our military leaders have been silent about their own devastation. Don’t ask, don’t tell.

*The cost of an orgy ~ @$1.5 trillion – A new study by congressional Democrats, “The Hidden Costs of the Iraq War”, says: “The economic costs to the U.S. of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan so far total approximately $1.5 trillion. The "hidden costs" include higher oil prices, the expense of treating wounded veterans and interest payments on the money borrowed to pay for the wars.” The amount is double the $804 billion budgeted for these wars through 2008.The real costs of the Iraq war amounts to $20,000 for each American. Given that some experts feel that the price of oil cannot be fully attributed to the war in Iraq the cost still remains abhorrent in terms of treasure, life and limb. They impeached Bill Clinton for screwing one person in the White House. Apparently there is no penalty for screwing 300,000,000 people from the White House.

*The cost of pork ~ Still bad but better – Citizens Against Government Waste, which monitors government spending, estimates that over 8000 earmarks or pork spending (a congressman directing money to a specific project) will cost taxpayers $18 to 20 billion this year. When the Republicans controlled congress earmarks totaled $29 billion (reference “Nonsense repeated” below).

*Between a nut and a hard place - Mike Huckabee is a Republican presidential candidate and Baptist preacher. Appearing on meshuganah (mentally imbalanced) Pat Robertson’s TV program Huckabee discussed his qualifications for president. Unique and convoluted would best describe his remarks. “People look at my record and say that I’m as strong on immigration, strong on terror as anybody. In fact I think I’m stronger than most people because I truly understand the nature of the war that we are in with Islamo fascism. These are people that want to kill us. It’s a theocratic war. And I don’t know if anybody fully understands that. I’m the only guy on that stage with a theology degree. I think I understand it really well.” Mike Huckabee appears to have no clue how to address the increasing terrorism in the world. “Islamo Facism” is not a political or religious movement. It is a Bush administration slogan created to cover a failing policy that actually has contributed to the growth of terrorists. Slogan as policy is a path of blind faith. America needs serious and capable leaders to deal with the dangers we face, leaving Mr. Huckabee without a prayer.

*The censoring of Santa Claus ~ speaking of nuts – Santas in Sydney, Australia have been told not to use “ho ho ho” because it may be offensive to women. It was suggested that the alternative be “ha ha ha”. Brilliant! Women just love when you laugh at them.

*The U.S. Constitution is not a menu – Sen. Sam Brownback (R-KA), Republican presidential candidate, has an article in the Washington Post where he says,” The conservative movement in America will succeed to the degree that it is faith-filled.” This group is fond of quoting the Constitution on the right to bear arms but ignore the Separation of Church and State. I have no problem with a person of any faith being a politician. I do have a problem with a politician imposing the tenants of his particular faith on all of society. We have seen the damage caused by a president that selects only those parts of the Constitution that serves his ideology and self-interest. The results are distasteful.

*Enough of Big Brother - Donald Kerr is the principal deputy director of national intelligence. He says: “Privacy no longer can mean anonymity... Instead, it should mean that government and businesses properly safeguard people's private communications and financial information.” My reaction is, NO WAY! The Bush administration’s approach to the challenges facing our country is to operate in the shadows of state secrets while aggressively avoiding the oversight and checks and balances required by our political system. We have seen how that has worked out. Further secreting their incompetence and transgressions would be absurd. Marc Rotenberg, president of the Electronic Privacy Information Center said, "If Mr. Kerr does not believe he can uphold the Constitution, he should resign." I would not give this group further spying power because it bypasses our Constitution and, I DON’T TRUST THEM!

*Nonsense repeated repeatedly is still nonsense – The Oakland Raiders are a big, nasty football team (20 years ago), Columbus discovered America (Leif Erickson), if you elect Democrats they will overspend your tax dollars. The Republican propaganda machine has been working overtime to convince voters that they are the party of fiscal responsibility. The claim is ancient history. Clinton’s presidency left this country with a surplus. For the last six years it is the Republicans that passed spending bills that leave this country in a terrible debt situation. Making matters worse, Republicans reduced America’s tax revenue from the wealthy, are spending over a trillion dollars for the Iraq war, blocked the importation of less expensive drugs from Canada, instituted non-negotiation of drug pricing with the pharmaceutical companies and a host of other legislative and policy decisions that reduced the financial welfare of most Americans. Republican fiscal responsibility is an urban legend.

*Fire sale on souls – As part of an investigation the FBI secretly video taped Pete Kott speaking to a lobbyist. Kott is the former Republican speaker of the Alaska House of Representatives. He admitted, "I had to cheat, steal, beg, borrow and lie... Exxon's happy. BP's happy. I'll sell my soul to the devil.” His comments would be lyrical in a blues song but repugnant in the political landscape. Unfortunately, this mentality is not isolated. Ney and Cunningham are already in jail and we can expect to see another dozen “esteemed” politicians facing corruption investigations in the near future.

*Gay (Military) Pride – According to the UCLA School of Law’s Williamson Institute more than 1 million lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans have served in our armed forces. 65,000 gay patriots are on duty today around the world. The “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law currently in effect asks brave men and women to serve their country in the shadows because if their sexual orientation is known they are dismissed. This is very unfair to these individuals and it makes no sense given the needs of our military. Two organizations that are working to change the law are Service Members Legal Defense Network and American Voters for Equal Rights. You may want to consider knowing more about this issue and supporting their work. I for one cannot relate to the idea that a country that prides itself on the concepts of “democracy” and “equal rights” can at the same time be exclusionary. The civil rights movement dramatically exposed America’s hypocrisy with respect to Black Americans. Until all citizens are treated equally that Stars and Stripes we wave so fervently should be at half mast.

*Bad to the core – The American Freedom Campaign is publicizing the HBO Emmy Award winning documentary "Ghosts of Abu Ghraib". “The Bush Administration would like you to think the shocking and disturbing images that came out of the infamous Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq in 2004 were due to the actions of "a few bad apples." Unfortunately, the degrading and humiliating treatment of Iraqi prisoners was not the brainchild of some low-level soldiers in the field. In fact, the soldiers were following orders and instructions from the very top of the chain of command.” You can learn more about this documentary and where it is being screened: http://salsa.democracyinaction.org/dia/track.jsp?v=2&c=EQplyxyKhv1b4MwLzrleCUoQK50ve1Cy.

*Republican leadership prefers operating in the dark – There is a bill in the Senate that would require senators to make available on line the names and amounts contributors have made to their campaigns. This procedure has been in place for the House of Representatives for the last six years. It is an element of transparency that is seriously needed in the political process. Although the senate bill is co-sponsored by 24 Democrats and 16 Republicans, Republican leadership is doing everything they can to stop this legislation. The primary opposition is coming from Senate Minority leader Mitch McConnell (KT) (whose corrupt activities I recently noted) and Senator John Ensign (NV) who is chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee. Don’t ask, don’t tell.

*Thanksgiving Visitors – Because I have written letters to the editor at the Philadelphia Inquirer I was invited to submit a letter for the November 22nd Thanksgiving Day edition stating what I am grateful for this year. I wrote:
In comments to friends, letters to the editor and on my views of the news website I have been extremely critical of the president and his administration, the congress and many national leaders. I have spoken out against torture, domestic spying, corrupt politicians and the overreach of religious fundamentalism. In many countries around the world I would have been silenced. I am grateful that on Thanksgiving the only knocks on my door will be family and friends arriving to share a wonderful dinner and the freedoms that define America. We will offer thanks for these very special gifts.

Happy Thanksgiving