The Conservative Perspective – Political Pornography

As I troll, surf and stalk what is happening in the news I often stumble upon such absurdity by so-called Conservatives that I do a check to ensure I have taken the correct medication for the day. In a clear-headed world such lewdness of logic could not be taking place. More often than not I ignore such offense to reason. When I have noted these mental burlesques they have been featured in a segment designated Derriere Orifice of the Week. This was indeed a special week!

* Senator John Ensign (R-NV) and Governor Mark Sanford (R-SC), advocates of family values, opponents of gay rights and pontificators of how others should conduct their lives, were exposed for extra-marital affairs. Perhaps these disgraced icons of the holier-than-thou movement should pay more attention to what their own sexual organs are doing. Republican sexual indiscretions have become so prevalent that TalkingPointsMemo.com has developed a Sex Scandal Flow Chart, where all roads must lead to hell. Truth be told, I would not care less what happens in the private lives of politicians if not for those instances where their hypocrisy is palpable. The sanctity of marriage begins with one’s own zipper remaining in the up position. And what does it say about Senate Republican leadership that during their regular Tuesday luncheon meeting, following Ensign’s mea culpa apology to them, they showered him with applause. Good job John, another notch on the chastity belt!

* Noted natural healer and airwaves polluter Rush Limbaugh offered an alibi for Sanford’s love tryst in Argentina. Limbaugh said, “Sanford flew out of the country to have an affair because ‘President Obama drove him over the edge’.” The background of “over the edge” involved Sanford opposing the acceptance of desperately needed money provided in the Stimulus Plan for South Carolina. Sanford lost this fierce battle with his state legislature as he desperately attempted to establish his conservative credentials for a presidential run in 2012. The Limbaugh Prescription: committing adultery is the homeopathic approach to dealing with stress. Whatever bothers you, just get laid and blame it on the President.

* Right-wing anti-tax activist Grover Norquist offered an interesting perspective on recent Republican adultery. Norquist said, “It does indicate that men who oppose federal spending at the local level are irresistible to women.” Oh to have had this knowledge when I was single. Who would have thought that approaching a woman in a cocktail lounge as a tight-assed, anal-retentive bible thumper with a Shirley Temple in hand would have her disrobing and fogging up my eyeglasses?

* One of Maryland’s most prominent Republican organizations, Republican Women of Anne Arundel County, issued a letter by the organization’s President, Joyce Thomann. Her letter began “Dear Friends” and went on to say, “Obama and Hitler have a great deal in common in my view. Obama and Hitler use the “blitzkrieg” method to overwhelm their enemies. FAST, CARPET BOMBING intent on destruction. Hitler’s blitzkrieg bombing destroyed many European cities – quickly and effectively. Obama is systematically destroying the American economy and with it AMERICA.” I do have issues with Ms. Thomann’s grammar but, more importantly, this is a good example of what happens when rain closes the country club golf course. Idle hands are the devil’s tools.

* Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) is the poster child for Attention Deficit Disorder and the mindless meanderings of a mercury-tainted cerebral hemisphere. Her malapropisms and malcogitation (sic) are legendary and the congresswoman from Minnesota is a frequent flyer on the Derriere Orifice express. She has announced that she will break the law by not filling out her 2010 Census questionnaire. Her explanation included that the Census led to the internment of Japanese Americans in the 1940’s. This link attempts to analyze Bachmann’s irrationality and historical to hysterical errors. I suggest two aspirin one hour before reading. One wonders if the citizens of her district should be interned for electing her to congress. If one guessed that her public display of idiocy took place on FOX News you are exempt from completing your census form. And what does it say about your assertions when right-wing nut Glenn Beck thinks you have lost your census?

* Eight Supreme Court justices ruled that a school’s strip search of an Arizona 13 year old girl accused of having prescription-strength ibuprofen was illegal.” The eight justices range in philosophy from liberal to moderate to conservative. But there are nine SC justices and the ultra conservative and reactionary Justice Clarence Thomas offered a dissenting opinion. Thomas said, “the court was making a “deep intrusion” into the administration of public schools and their efforts to fight the scourge of drug abuse.” Yes, the eternal challenge for a democracy is finding that elusive balance between the common good and individual freedoms. Someone should explain to Justice Thomas that “No Child Left Behind” had nothing to do with students baring their behind by lowering their Calvin Klein underwear.

* Just when you thought that Joe “The Plumber” Wurzelbacher’s career as spokesperson for the conservative mind was over he floats to the top of the septic tank. At a speaking engagement to Americans for Prosperity in Wisconsin “The Plunger” said more than once, referring to Sen. Chris Dodd (D-CT), "Why hasn't he been strung up?" Ah, the voice of Conservatism – cogent, articulate and erudite while conveying the ideals and principles of American freedom and democracy. I expect that Joe’s next appearance will be in Anne Arundel, Maryland at the annual Spaetzle Cook Off.

* Let my people go – Republican Representatives John Culberson (TX), Peter Hoekstra (MI), and David Dreier (CA) all compared their minority status in congress to the plight of the Iranian protestors. With the exception of living in a democracy and not being shot at or bludgeoned for their views their analogy is spot on. I suggest that they will feel better if they take the advice of the leader of their Party, Rush Limbaugh, and just get laid.

* Recall Republicans going ballistic when President Obama said that one of the characteristics his Supreme Court nominee should possess is empathy. Some would say that Republican opposition stemmed from the fact that they do not understand the meaning of the word. Well, there is some evidence that at least one Republican can express empathy. Meet Missouri state representative Cynthia Davis. As chairwoman of the Missouri House Special Standing Committee on Children and Families she was critical of a government program that provides food during the summer for thousands of low-income Missouri children who rely on the school cafeteria for free or reduced-price meals during the regular school year. “A report by Feeding America found that one in five Missouri children currently lives with hunger.” Here is where the empathy thing comes in. Ms. Davis extolled the virtues of hunger because “hunger can be a positive motivator.” Rumor has it that Ms. Davis has been selected Woman of the Year by the Republican Women of Anne Arundel County.

* Connecticut Governor M. Jodi Rell (R) signed the US Senate vacancy bill which takes away the governor’s power to appoint someone to a vacant US Senate seat. Rell said, “this bill gives directly to the people of Connecticut the decision on who would fill a vacancy in the U.S. Senate… Since taking office as Governor, I have done everything in my power to make Connecticut a model for all states when it comes to openness, transparency and citizen participation in government." “Republican lawmakers had called the bill a "power grab" during lengthy debates in both the House and the Senate.” Lacking empathy and the concept of democracy, Republicans conclude that giving the citizens the right to elect their officials “is a power grab.”


Who then is sane? He who is not a fool.
Quintus Horatius Flaccus, aka, Horace (65 BC to 8 BC) Roman lyric poet

A positive take during worrisome times:

* Remembering what we have – The following is an excerpt from an email exchange with a reader: There is also a positive side to our discussion. At the present time you and I, our family and friends, enjoy a standard of living and peaceful (safe) existence far better than 99% of the people that have walked this planet. We do not know what the future holds but there is merit in remembering what we do have. In large part it is the result of those who came before us and it is a responsibility I believe we now have to those who will follow - to continue to make this a better place in terms of freedom, health and standard of living.

* A helping hand – “Drugstore operator Walgreen will offer free clinic visits to the unemployed and uninsured for the rest of the year, providing tests and routine treatment for minor ailments through its walk-in clinics - though patients will still pay for prescriptions… Spouses and children are also eligible for free services if they don't have insurance of their own.” The linked article provides details of this offer. Some cynics have commented that Walgreen is only doing it to build business for its Take Care clinics. I do not know if the claim is accurate but I do say that an initiative that helps people in need is worthy of praise. If Walgreen benefits in the long-term by building a sound business model it has the ring of intelligent capitalism. We have not seen much of it in recent years but there is promise.

* Helping the land – “President Barack Obama signed legislation on Monday expanding and protecting US public parks and wilderness areas from oil and gas development, billed as the largest US conservation measure in more than 15 years… The legislation - backed by members of both parties -- is "among the most important in decades to protect, preserve and pass down our nation's most treasured landscapes to future generations.” It is certainly a breath of fresh air seeing Congress and the White House acting responsibly with respect to our natural resources and environment. This is a role of government abdicated in recent years.

* Helping the country – USA Today reports: “The early federal stimulus money appears to be hitting its target, paying for new projects and creating jobs… Most early spending is flowing, as planned, into "shovel-ready" projects — a new bridge over a Louisiana bayou, the widening of a mountain road in Colorado — that wouldn't have occurred this year without stimulus money.” The $750 billion stimulus package is being used in part to create jobs and fix a crumbling infrastructure. Some of these funds will go into education, health care and tax cuts over the next two years. It is a win-win situation.

* Helping the world – “President Obama plans to open negotiations to draft a new arms control treaty that could slash the American and Russian strategic nuclear arsenals by about a third and possibly lead to even deeper reductions, according to administration officials… Just setting a new limit would send a signal to the international community in general that the United States is getting serious about its disarmament commitments again,” said Peter Crail, an analyst at the Arms Control Association, a Washington advocacy organization.” This is not to suggest that America does not need a strong defense. But, like intelligent capitalism, it is beyond time that America strongly consider intelligent defense. For too long we have funded defense systems that are impractical, outmoded and economically crippling and unsustainable.

* Another Republican icon vaporized ~ again – This may not be positive news for the general populace but it sure is a lot of fun. An anti-union conservative group benignly calling itself Americans for Prosperity has been funding Joe the Plumber traveling to various sites to speak out against the Employee Free Choice Act (EFCA). Joe has become one of the faces of the Republican Party. He has also become one of the asses of the Republican Party.

Appearing in Harrisburg, PA to campaign against EFCA, people in the audience began asking Joe questions about the proposed legislation and why he was against it. “Pressed on the specifics of the law, Mr. Plumber repeatedly refused to answer, and finally lost his cool, telling his questioner: “Drop it, brother, drop it. I never said I was an expert, man.” Following some enthusiastic heckling Joe flushed his scheduled appearance in Philadelphia.

* The best news of all ~ the Republicans are no longer in charge – On April 1st congressional Republicans released their alternative budget to what Obama and the Democrats have proposed. The title of this Republican budget should read “Same Crap, Different Day” or “Dumb and Dumber” or “April Fools Meets Ship of Fools.” Some of the lowlights include:

~ The GOP plan would rescind the recently-enacted economic stimulus package, which would cause America—and the world—to spiral into Depression.
~ The GOP plan would hand over nearly $4 trillion in tax cuts to the rich.
~ The GOP plan would freeze non-defense, non-veteran spending for five years.
~ The GOP plan would privatize Medicare.

Not only is this an alternative to what Obama is proposing it is the antithesis of what is needed in a damaged economy and unconscionable given the state of this nation. How absurd is this Republican proposal? “The marquee item, however, in the Republican plan is their inexplicably regressive tax cut for the super rich. Wealthy Americans in the top three tax brackets would see their tax burden cut to a flat 25 percent from previous rates of 35, 33 and 28. According to the Center for American Progress, CEOs from any of the top 800 corporations would receive a tax break of around $1.5 million a year. Meanwhile, if you earn $15,000 a year, your tax break will be around $0 a year.”

In the land of Uranus, where Republicans reside, the only focus is protecting those who least need protection or support. The American people are awakening to the dismal and incompetent Republican message as the GOP continues to transition from a once vital and proud political party to a re-run of Hee Haw.

* Darfur – I received a broadcast email message from Ruth Messinger of the American Jewish World Service. On Monday she had attended a meeting with President Obama at the White House on the subject of Darfur. Messinger reports that the administration understands the need to ensure the restoration of international aid groups into Darfur. “The President also clearly indicated that finding a political solution to end the conflict is a top priority.” The full press release is available at the above link. In every generation, in multiple locations, the worst of humanity forms a puss-filled boil over a group of people. The world community has never been able to prevent it but there is a long history of overcoming man’s inhumanity to man. Let us hope that Darfur can be brought back from hell.

* America – Few would argue that a core problem burdening our nation is the inextricable link between money and politics. The high cost of running a federal level election campaign has two very specific downsides: it forces candidates and incumbents to seek funding that too often comes from the deep pockets of special interests; it forces the incumbents to be in almost constant fundraising mode thereby reducing the time they devote to actually representing constituents. Regardless of who wins the election we are the losers. It is the inordinate influence of special interests that has contributed to a degrading environment, reduction in product inspection and safety, reduction in oversight that allowed financial institutions to go over the cliff and a host of other problems that we now must deal with. It is beyond time that our country addresses how federal elections are funded and there is good news on this front.

“Fair Elections Now” is a set of bills just introduced in both houses that would fundamentally transform Congressional fundraising. The bipartisan bill is being sponsored by Senators Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) and Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) and Representatives John Larson (D-Conn.) and Walter Jones, Jr. (R-N.C.). It is based on key elements that have been successful at the state level in Arizona, Connecticut, Maine and North Carolina. The Public Campaign Action Fund provides details of this legislation and links to a number of non-partisan organizations that support this bill. If one sincerely wants to change the dynamics of what is a broken electoral system, action should be taken to contact one’s Senators and Representative and demand that this bill be supported. VoteSmart.org provides contact information for Senators and Representatives. Democracy is a participation sport!

* If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in the government to the utmost.
Aristotle